What to Write?

I keep staring at the screen to get an IDEA!

I keep staring at the screen with my legs up, to get an IDEA!

I have got books to review for the book review tab, gear to review in the gear review tab, injuries to talk about in the injury prevention tab but I don’t feel like writing. I am tired to do research and flipping websites and books for references and clicking photos of things from different angles. I am preparing for my first 100km ultra, Bhatti Lakes 100k in 3 weeks from now. I am tired all the time. My wife keeps cursing me for that.

This is a random post. Heck, I wanted to try my hand on some free writing. Just want my thoughts to pour out of my brain like boiled milk! WTF…it’s awesome man!

I am sometimes bored of writing organised stuff and before clicking on the ADD NEW button on the top of the dashboard, I saw that I have till date published 97 articles. Quite some feat! Thanks Anubha Rastogi for pitching in.

So, what to write? I was hung up on this question for last few weeks. My weekly updates in form of articles on my training was boring me. However, thanks to my first ultra, I have written quite some stuff on training, which eventually I may compile in form of an e-book later, with the race report thrown in the end. I wonder how many people would like to read it?

I keep thinking a lot of stuff about running and blogging. Sometimes I think about making all this blogging business, an actual business after I leave my current job. But that’s a lot of years from now i.e 9 years to be exact. I mean if it could pay my bills, Well, there are people out there to blame who keep motivating me to blog. I follow few blogs who claim that it can pay bills. I don’t really know. Till date, i.e in last one and half years of blogging, I just made $35 in Google Adsense. And they issue a payout only at $100. That means at the present rate, I will take another 3 years for my first paycheck! I have my doubts of making blogging a full time career option.

I am quite a fickle minded person. It is been since my childhood days. Even my wife has acknowledged this fact. My teachers used to keep writing remarks like talkative, introvert(ironical, isn’t it?), lacks participation in class, good in Hockey etc. My new love is the new GoPro Hero 4 Silver, using which I want to make a YouTube documentary on the ultra I will be running in 3 weeks from now. And I will make money from it!

I made this selfie stick for Rs 10. Rs 10 is the price of the handle grip.

I made this selfie stick for Rs 10. Rs 10 is the price of the handle grip.

First shot using the selfie stick.

First shot using the selfie stick.

Now I am so fickle minded that I am in love with climbing now. We recently got a artificial rock climbing wall made outside my office complex. I am seeing more of climbing videos on YouTube than running videos. Neel, you have a race coming up. Motivate yourself!

It's a 25 feet by 8 feet wall with a beginners route. I am too heavy to climb it. But I will eventually!

It’s a 25 feet by 8 feet wall with a beginners route. I am too heavy to climb it. But I will eventually!

Actually the thing is that I am in tapering phase and by now I have run a lot as per my capacity in last 30 weeks or so. I am feeling a bit low and dread the runs, especially in the heat. So, at the hindsight these new hobbies of mine will distract me to get back my mojo for running before the race.

I started this article yesterday and couldn’t finish it then. But now today as I start writing again I realised that I have forgotten half the things I wanted to write. That’s why they say keep a diary, you dumbo!

When I am running, I want to improve my timings, but it so hard to motivate yourself to run fast. Especially when you are doing it all alone. The craziest runs of mine are on weekends, where I get up at 1 or 2 AM to get in a 3 or 4 hour run. I have even started running at midnight till 6 AM. Its all crazy and weird when people come to know about it from ME and my wife. Remember, my teacher wrote that I was talkative. But I feel like a person with a purpose which goes up in air when I am dead tired.

But yes, I am very proud of myself for putting in such an effort but I also think what is the use? Will I get any benefit? I don’t know as of yet but I will be definitely be a changed man after the 100km race. It’s like an expedition, an adventure. My kind is bit too extreme. But that gives a great kick, isn’t it? I have had my death defying moments earlier in my career. I am from Army, have I told you this? But this race is something I have never experienced before. Not even a close resemblance.

I am doubting myself since last week. I mean I am doubting that whether I have put in enough mileage. Am I strong enough to last for more than 10 hours at a stretch? I will be 33 years old in exact 5 days. I hope I eat and drink well during the race. I don’t want to have any stomach issues during the race and avoid going behind the nearest thorny bush. I hope to¬†finish, at least.

Enough of my nonsense ramblings! Till then stay fit and keep running.

You sometimes have to sit next to a stream and just listen.

You sometimes have to sit next to a stream and just listen.

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Author: Neel

I am Neel and the creator of borN. I am an ultra marathoner, scuba diver, adventurer, writer and father of an extremely active child.

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